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Learning to control my feelings

big image for How much self-esteem do I have?

How much self-esteem do I have?

During adolescence you will notice some changes to your body, your feelings or your mood, which sometimes can make it hard for you to connect with yourself and your changing body image. This may negatively also affect your self-confidence.

Self-esteem or self-confidence is about feeling good with ourselves, it is about feeling worthy and accepting ourselves the way we are. Low self-esteem causes problems in our relationships with others, in our behaviour and even in our feelings. High self-esteem, on the other hand, helps you build healthy inter-personal relationships, be satisfied and effective in your daily activities.

Some traits indicating that an adolescent may have low self-esteem are when she:

• Talks about herself in a negative way, while diminishing or undermining her positive aspects.

• Is deeply affected by others’ negative comments.

• Is too upset when she fails.

• Focuses on others’ negative mood, even if it is not related to her behaviour.

• Does not accept others’ criticism, regardless of how constructive it may be, because it generates unbearable stress to her, even though she often criticizes others.

• Finds it difficult to make friends or interact with boys.

Self-esteem is acquirable and it is something to which you can be trained. If you feel that yours is low, don’t hesitate to contact a specialized professional in order to help you develop it.

Listed below are some easy tips that will help you grow your self-esteem.

• Make a list with your positive traits.

• Try to write down every day small positive things that have happened during the day and how they made you feel.

• Make a list of the things that you’re good at and with all that you have accomplished so far, regardless of how small or big it was.

• Write down the blunders or the failures that you’ve had and find out their funny side. Face your mistakes with humour.

• Avoid being a perfectionist. There is no such thing as a perfect person.

• Write down some positive sentences and read them to you every day: “I am unique”, “I deserve the best in life”, “I can achieve anything I put my mind on to”, “I love taking care of my body”, “I am surrounded by people who love me and care about me”.

Remember that in life things don’t always come as we want them and that many people will go through it and leave. The most important person in your life, with whom you will always stay together, is you. You are your best friend!

In collaboration with:

Vassiliki Dimitrakopoulou

Psychologist, Scientific Associate of the Greek Society of Adolescent Medicine

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